Episode 248: Show Notes
Welcome back to the Strategy Hour Podcast everyone! Today we have a very special and meaningful episode with a wonderful guest that we cannot wait to share with you. Her name is Aimee Beltran and she started her own business and podcast called Irresistible Icing. We are huge fans and cannot wait for you to hear what Aimee has to say! Our guest has struggled with weight and body issues since she can remember and she has turned this difficulty into a source of support and care though her company. She always felt she needed to get to this idea of the perfect body but after years of bad experiences and self destruction she realized there were other ways to live the life she was dreaming of.
Aimee gives us the scoop on her five guiding principles that have helped her to start living an irresistible life. She takes us through these and gives us many other great insights and personal experiences. This episode is quite a deep one and we would like anyone with any history of body issues to be kind and caring to themselves while listening as we know these kinds of conversations can be very triggering. Nonetheless there are some tears and lots of laughter during our chat and the overwhelming message that we and Aimee really want to bring to our listeners is one of body positivity and acceptance. And remember things do not always have to be perfect!
Verbal Negativity Around Body Weight and Motherhood
We started off our chat around the topic of pregnancy, a particularly interesting lens through which to look at the way we view our own bodies. We all agreed that we would hate to give any of our own issues and problems with body image to a child and Aimee admits that having her daughter really brought her own attitude into the light, making her realize the extent of the ways in which she was abusing herself. Aimee experienced a marked weight gain during her pregnancy, but it was the work she did on herself leading up to this period that made it all manageable even when it was very difficult. This work and and progress led to her being able to enjoy on of the most miraculous and beautiful parts of life without worrying too much about what she was looking like at every moment. All kids mimic their parents to some extent and the idea of her daughter having her same self doubt around her body was a huge motivation to change her own behavior! The other side of this dynamic is the way in which weight issues can hamper us from thinking seriously about having children. We might ask ourselves, “What am I going to look like?” But what we should really be focusing on is the wonderful gift that bearing a child can be. Through any of these periods it is important, according to Aimee and to us here at TCC to enjoy the moment and not beat yourself up! In this example we see how we often have responsibilities that are greater than ourselves.
The Dangerous Circle of Bringing Yourself Down
Many of us know the feeling of seeing a bad photo of of ourselves. It can be so triggering! The same thing can happen when someone mentions something about weight loss and all of these triggers can make it really hard to feel beautiful sometimes. Aimee has accepted that there is no way she will ever have that so-called perfect, skinny body and has come to the point where she values the work she does on her mind as the primary area of exercise. The truth is you are not always going to be at your ideal weight and a level of acceptance of that will almost always serve you better than feeling like a failure. Emylee started exercising recently for the first time in who knows how long, and her goal of getting stronger was her main motivator, an aim in which she began to see nice results. That did not stop her from feeling dissatisfied when the results across the board were not perfect. It is so hard to be kind to ourselves sometimes! At times we also need to remember our successes and the real reasons why we are setting out to do something.
Feeding Your Soul
Aimee then found a great strategy for dealing with her emotions and problems around her body, she began to focus on feeding her soul for the first time! This started with opening her mind to doing new things, things that made her happy and took her out of her cycle of sadness and disappointment. It also helped to realize the hunger that led to her gaining weight was not always about food, but was rather able to be satisfied by other activities. Aimee has since realized that kayaking is a happy and safe place for her, something in which she finds huge amounts of joy and it is healthy and active to boot! These other cravings that we might have can be displaced onto food and we need to explore other avenues to fully realize what we might be missing in our lives. We are not really always hungry!
Living An Irresistible Life
Aimee then went on to detail her all important five principles for us. The first is to ‘Break The Rules’, and this means looking closely at the rules we have given ourselves, the subconscious ways in which we govern our own bodies and the external pressures that are constantly thrown at us. Once we can be aware of those, we can begin to reimagine these ideas and design new ones that serve us and our real interests with care. The second rule is to ‘Make Confidence Queen’, which is so vitally important, as body image issues almost always result in lowered confidence. You need to make your confidence the center of your world and routine. This might mean building relationships with strong women, it might mean spending money on your clothes. Whatever it is that helps to build up your idea of yourself, we are all for it! Number three is to feed your soul and as Aimee explained earlier this really boils down to finding what you may be missing and finding ways to address this issue without compulsively eating. The fourth principles is to ‘Be In The Moment’, an exercise in presence and mindfulness. We can all do with some more gratitude and self-reflection and we do not need to to always be imagining some distant perfect future, when there is usually so many amazing things around us right now! The last guideline that Aimee offers is that you should ‘Get Your Glam On!’ Aimee believes that looks do matter and the way you present yourself to the world has a profound impact on all things in your life. Weight and your body shape does not have to govern this completely, however. Remember to accentuate what makes you feel good and look your best. Do the thing that makes you feel like the best you!
Getting Really Honest With Yourself
The issues we have been discussing are most often deeply rooted and reach back far into our histories. Sometimes professional help is the only way and Aimee suggests that if you are struggling you at least consider speaking to someone. Self-hatred and failure can be an almost impossible cycle to shake and these feelings take a lot of work to overcome even for a short period. Aimee realized at some point that she had to stop focusing on all the bad things and push for the things she cared about and could control and we hope you are able to do the same without whatever issues you might be facing. The mistakes and missteps can just be bumps in the road and do not have to derail the whole journey and the path that you are taking towards your best life!
- Verbal Negativity Around Body Weight and Motherhood. [0:06:16.8]
- The Dangerous Circle of Bringing Yourself Down. [0:14:39.9]
- Feeding Your Soul. [0:19:33.7]
- Guidelines to Living An Irresistible Live. [0:27:02.1]
- Getting Honest Really With Yourself. [0:39:10.2]